After I posted my letter on facebook I got lots of love from friends and family it was AWESOME. But, there is one letter in particular I want to share with you that was emailed to me the next morning. You just never know who your words will touch until you say them out loud ;) --- so humbled...
"Hi Niketa, I read your post on Facebook today I wanted to say that it said a lot and was very touching. While I am so sorry for the pain you have had to deal with it is inspiring to see that it has made you stronger. I have been having anxiety over my daughter starting kindergarten this year. I worry about mean girls and bullies and I hope that she will be able to make the right choice, be herself and not care what others think. I hope she stands up for what is right and is able to voice what is wrong.
After reading your post I know there will be hard times for her and as a parent the last thing I want to see is my child hurting but I hope that the experiences she has like you make her stronger. This gives me some hope that the rough times will make her stronger. Thank you for sharing and you are AWESOME!"
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
The aftermath pt. 1
When I sat down to write that letter to myself I had no idea the impact that it would have on not only me but my family and friends. I originally posted it on facebook and the response was so overwhelming. Don't get me wrong I was hoping people would be able to connect with what I was saying but I never imagined at what level. I can't even explain how humbling of an experience it was. Every time I try I get all teary eyed.
At first I was a little worried after I posted it because comment after comment people kept posting, "you're beautiful!" and I was concerned that people were missing the point. And, then I realized maybe it wasn't them missing the point maybe it was me. This letter was so much bigger than me. Each person that read it could relate to it in some way and/or could just feel what I was feeling when I wrote it. I did feel beautiful and always had. Silly me, they did get it! But, it went way deeper than that. What I wanted people to get from my post is that we need to support ourselves. It's so much easier to see someone else struggle then it is to see our own. So many of us have so much to give to others and often times we forget to give to ourselves.
One of my friends commented that she wished she could have protected me from those mean people who hurt me. Who me? What? That's not what my post was about. I wasn't hurt....and that's when it hit me. Wow. I've spent so much of my life "being strong" that I didn't even take the time to be hurt by their words. I decided at young age that wasn't going to let what people say bother me. I mean I'm not going to lie, it did make me sad when I heard the things that people where saying about me, however, there was nothing I could do about it. I got over it and made sure I stayed away from those people.
I made sure to be conscious of what they were saying but I didn't let it control me. I didn't let their words define me. I grew up in a town where pretty much no one looked like me. I was in a sea of white for a majority of my life. So I got more than just comments about my appearance, I got it all. I was different. And, here's the kicker...I already knew that. Haha. Jokes on you suckers ;) I think I was very lucky in that aspect because it helped me to not be obsessed with fitting in. Why? Well, it's very simple I didn't obsess over it because I knew I could NEVER fit in. I was different and I owned it. I was Niketa and there was no one like me.
At first I was a little worried after I posted it because comment after comment people kept posting, "you're beautiful!" and I was concerned that people were missing the point. And, then I realized maybe it wasn't them missing the point maybe it was me. This letter was so much bigger than me. Each person that read it could relate to it in some way and/or could just feel what I was feeling when I wrote it. I did feel beautiful and always had. Silly me, they did get it! But, it went way deeper than that. What I wanted people to get from my post is that we need to support ourselves. It's so much easier to see someone else struggle then it is to see our own. So many of us have so much to give to others and often times we forget to give to ourselves.
One of my friends commented that she wished she could have protected me from those mean people who hurt me. Who me? What? That's not what my post was about. I wasn't hurt....and that's when it hit me. Wow. I've spent so much of my life "being strong" that I didn't even take the time to be hurt by their words. I decided at young age that wasn't going to let what people say bother me. I mean I'm not going to lie, it did make me sad when I heard the things that people where saying about me, however, there was nothing I could do about it. I got over it and made sure I stayed away from those people.
I made sure to be conscious of what they were saying but I didn't let it control me. I didn't let their words define me. I grew up in a town where pretty much no one looked like me. I was in a sea of white for a majority of my life. So I got more than just comments about my appearance, I got it all. I was different. And, here's the kicker...I already knew that. Haha. Jokes on you suckers ;) I think I was very lucky in that aspect because it helped me to not be obsessed with fitting in. Why? Well, it's very simple I didn't obsess over it because I knew I could NEVER fit in. I was different and I owned it. I was Niketa and there was no one like me.
A letter to my highschool self...
Dear High-school Niketa,
Wow. If I could have told you one thing it would have been that "You are beautiful!" Even though you didn't need to hear it I would have said it on the daily. This was fat? Really? How many times were you called that? How many times were you told you had a big ass? How many times were people just flat out rude to you because you didn't look like them? Oh honey I am so sorry. But, I do know one thing. You didn't let that stop you! Why? Because, you didn't dwell on how people felt about you. You let haters hate and pressed on. Like the popular saying these days "you ain't got time for that!" Girl, you did it. We're still a work in progress but we did it! We might be 100lbs heavier but we did it and we're still doing it! For us, not them. They can call it selfish, conceited, what have you...but they can't ignore the AWESOME! Never forget how blessed you are and the wonderful people you're surrounded by.
Love,
Niketa Rae
P.S. One day, I want to inspire people to love themselves :)
Wow. If I could have told you one thing it would have been that "You are beautiful!" Even though you didn't need to hear it I would have said it on the daily. This was fat? Really? How many times were you called that? How many times were you told you had a big ass? How many times were people just flat out rude to you because you didn't look like them? Oh honey I am so sorry. But, I do know one thing. You didn't let that stop you! Why? Because, you didn't dwell on how people felt about you. You let haters hate and pressed on. Like the popular saying these days "you ain't got time for that!" Girl, you did it. We're still a work in progress but we did it! We might be 100lbs heavier but we did it and we're still doing it! For us, not them. They can call it selfish, conceited, what have you...but they can't ignore the AWESOME! Never forget how blessed you are and the wonderful people you're surrounded by.
Love,
Niketa Rae
P.S. One day, I want to inspire people to love themselves :)
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
And this my friends is powerful! Mindset is a beautiful thing!
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"One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. It doesn't have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see." - Gabby Sidibe
Back to blogging...
I haven't posted in a year so let's get you up to speed...
This is a post from 2/26/13 that I post on facebook about my journey. Enjoy!
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It’s been over a year since I started my journey with Vi and all I can say is WOW! I’ve always been the girl with pretty face. The girl who always cropped her body out of pictures. The girl who has always been “just ok” with her appearance. Until, one day I decided that I wanted to change that. So, I went out and researched and found something that fit my lifestyle. Something that could work for me. And, here we are a little over a year later. No longer am I afraid to show off my body and what I’ve accomplished. No longer the girl with just the pretty face. Now I’m the woman who knows that she can do ANYTHING if she sets her mind to it. My journey is far from over and I know there are going to be some ups and downs but as long as I keep going, it’s going to be worth it! I have one of the greatest support systems in the world…you all know who you are Thanks so much for coming along for the ride!
This is a post from 2/26/13 that I post on facebook about my journey. Enjoy!
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It’s been over a year since I started my journey with Vi and all I can say is WOW! I’ve always been the girl with pretty face. The girl who always cropped her body out of pictures. The girl who has always been “just ok” with her appearance. Until, one day I decided that I wanted to change that. So, I went out and researched and found something that fit my lifestyle. Something that could work for me. And, here we are a little over a year later. No longer am I afraid to show off my body and what I’ve accomplished. No longer the girl with just the pretty face. Now I’m the woman who knows that she can do ANYTHING if she sets her mind to it. My journey is far from over and I know there are going to be some ups and downs but as long as I keep going, it’s going to be worth it! I have one of the greatest support systems in the world…you all know who you are Thanks so much for coming along for the ride!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Not feeling it today!
I think today is one of the first days I've felt like I don't know what I'm doing. I've kind of lost my mojo. I just need to take a step back and relax and remember things don't happen right away. We all have our setbacks, I'm just hoping that's what this is a minor set back. I've been doing everything right just had a crazy work and sleep schedule this week so I think it's messed with my body and not in a good way. So, I think I will just stay away from the scale for the rest of this week, keep doing what I'm doing and wait to freak out completely :) Yeah, that's it :) Wooosa...
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